Joe To the World and ALLIE! vol. 1

by Joe To the World (And ALLIE!)

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OH HARK! We dug this album out of a dang snowbank, dusted 'er off and now it can add to your holiday cheer for years to come! Rewind the yule log, heat up a gallon of cocoa and cozy yourselves up to 8 SNOW-FI FAVORITES FROM US TO YOU! Is the season? 'TIS!

ANY AND ALL PROCEEDS FROM DOWNLOADS WILL OFFICIALLY BE DONATED TO THE CONNECTICUT CAT CONNECTION! (www.ctcatconnection.org)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOM!

(P.S- LOOK OUT FOR VOLUME TWO NEXT YEAR, FEATURING: SONGS WE DIDN'T FINISH FOR THIS ONE!!!)

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released December 5, 2011

ALL INSTRUMENTS FASHIONED OUT OF PEPPERMINT AND ICICLES AND PERFORMED BY ALLISON KERN AND JOE RUMRILL

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Track Name: This Christmas Season
THERE'S A BOX OF ORNAMENTS
GO GRAB EM FROM THE ATTIC
WE'RE WATCHIN RUDOLPH
TILL THE NETWORKS ALL SHOW STATIC
WE'RE DRINKIN EGGNOG
TILL IT ROCKETS OUT OUR EARS
GONNA BE THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS
IN A MILLION YEARS

(A HUNDRED MILLION YEARS, MAYBE!)

(CHORUS:)
I GOTTA FEELIN THAT THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON'S GONNA BE GREAT!
WE'RE GONNA DANCE, WE'RE GONNA CAROL, GONNA SLED, WE'RE GONNA ICE SKATE
I GOTTA FEELIN THAT THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON'S GONNA BE GREAT!
SO FIND YOUR STOCKING FIND THE LIGHTS IT'S TIME TO DECORATE!

A PILE OF PRESENTS
AND THEY' RE ALL FOR YOU AND ME
CRANK THE NAT KING COLE
TURN UP BING CROSBY
IT SMELLS LIKE GINGERBREAD
AND FRANKINCENSE AND PINE
LETS GO TO THE MALL
AND SPEND HALF THE DAY IN LINE

(SOUNDS GOOD TO ME...I GOT GIFTS TO BUY)

CHORUS

(BRIDGE)
THINK ABOUT THE MISTLETOE
THINK ABOUT A FOOT OF SNOW
THINK ABOUT FIVE GOLDEN RINGS
THINK ABOUT THE WE THREE KINGS
THINK ABOUT THE CANDY CANES
THINK ABOUT THE POPCORN CHAINS
REINDEER, SANTA, CHRISTMAS DAY
VERY COOL, IF I MUST SAY

CHORUS

SO PUT CANDLES IN THE WINDOW
AND LIGHT UP THE STREET
GET A TURKEY
AND A FRUITCAKE TO EAT
HOPE SCHOOL GETS CANCELLED
HOPE WE DON'T GET COAL
HOPE I FEEL THAT FUZZY FEELING
DEEP INSIDE MY SOUL
Track Name: Oh How They Fly!
DID YOU SEE LAST NIGHT?
IN THE WINTER SKY?
SEE THE DEER THAT WERE FLYING?
PULLING A BIG FAT GUY?

DASHER DANCER PRANCER VIXEN COMET CUPID DONNER BLITZEN WOW!
I JUST WANNA KNOW FOR REAL HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW?

WHAT A CURIOUS SIGHT TO SEE
HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY
THEY DON'T LOOK BUILT FOR FLIGHT TO ME
BUT THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY!

SEE THEY DON'T HAVE WINGS
AND THEY DON'T HAVE SAILS
IS IT THE MAGIC HORNS?
AND THE TINY TAILS?

DASHER DANCER PRANCER VIXEN COMET CUPID DONNER BLITZEN WOW!
I JUST WANNA KNOW FOR REAL HOW HOW HOW HOW?

WHAT A CURIOUS SIGHT TO SEE
HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY
THEY DON'T LOOK BUILT FOR FLIGHT TO ME
BUT THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY!

I WOULD LOVE A RIDE
STRAIGHT TO THE NORTH POLE
BUT I GOTTA HIDE
OR ELSE I'LL GET COAL

THEY'LL BE HITTING YOUR HOUSE MIGHTY SOON
SEE THEIR SILHOUETTES AGAINST THE MOON

WHAT A CURIOUS SIGHT TO SEE
HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY
THEY DON'T LOOK BUILT FOR FLIGHT TO ME
BUT THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY IN THE SKY HOW THEY FLY HOW THEY FLY!
Track Name: Santa and his Blues Guitar / Jingle Bells
WELL AFTER SANTA'S RIDE
AFTER TRAVELIN NATIONWIDE
SANTA HAS TO STOP AND RELAX
THE ELVES ARE ON A BREAK
AND THE REINDEER AREN'T AWAKE
SANTA GRABS HIS OLD FENDER AXE

HE TURNS IT UP
AND SIPS HIS CUP
OF COCOA MADE YESTERDAY

HE TUNES A STRING
CHOOSES WHAT HE WILL SING
THEN SANTA STARTS TO PLAY
WELL SANTA'S GOT A BLUES GUITAR

WEATHERED FROM THE SNOW
SO HE CHOOSES TO PLAY SLOW
NOTHING REALLY FLASHY OR FAST
HIS NOTES JUST DRIBBLE OUT
LIKE A LEAKY FOUCET SPOUT
HE TRIES TO MAKE THE PEACEFUL TIME LAST

HE TURNS IT UP
AND SIPS HIS CUP
OF COCOA MADE YESTERDAY

HE TUNES A STRING
CHOOSES WHAT HE WILL SING
THEN SANTA STARTS TO PLAY
WELL SANTAS GOT A BLUES GUITAR
AND THAT SONG IS LIKE THIS IT GOES LIKE

HIS SUIT BEAMS WHITE AND RED
IT'S A CONCERT IN HIS HEAD
EVEN THOUGH HE ONLY KNOWS BUT THREE CHORDS
THIS TIME IS WHAT HE'S OWED
AFTER PRESENTS BY THE LOAD
HULA HOOPS, KAZOOS AND SKATEBOARDS
Track Name: A Christmas Classic
WE OPEN ON A DIMLY LIT FAMILY HOUSEHOLD
WHILE THE DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES
PLAYS FAINTLY NEARBY, MINGLING WITH THE SOUND OF A CRISP WINTER'S WIND.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE, AND RED THE M +M AND YELLOW THE M+M ARE TIPTOING
TOWARD THE CHRISTMAS TREE TO LEAVE A TREAT FOR SANTA CLAUS.
RED IS LIGHTING THE WAY WITH A SINGLE CANDLE,
YELLOW FOLLOWS CLOSELY, CARRYING THE MOST MASSIVE BOWL FILLED
WITH SPECIAL HOLIDAY RED AND GREEN M+Ms ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN.
YELLOW ASKS “SO DO YOU THINK SANTA WILL LIKE THESE RED AND GREEN M+Ms?”
“I DON'T KNOW! I NEVER MET THE GUY!” RED CURTLY RESPONDS.
A DETECTABLE SENSE OF DISDAIN LINGERS IN HIS NASAL VOICE.
PASSING THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM THRESHOLD A HIGH PITCHED SCREAM IS HEARD.
IT IS SANTA, THE JOLLY OLD ELF HIMSELF, SYMBOL OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND GOOD,
LEAVING NEATLY WRAPPED PRESENTS FOR OUR OWN RED AND YELLOW.
“HE DOES EXIST!” RED EXCLAIMS INCREDULOUSLY
“THEY DO EXIST” SANTA SAYS OF THE WALKING TALKING M+Ms,
HIS EYES ROLLING BACK IN HIS HEAD.
THE TWO FAINT TO THE GROUND MID-MOAN, HEAVY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
OF EACH OTHERS EXISTENCE.
YELLOW STANDS ALONE
BOWL STILL IN HAND
HEAVY WITH THE SPECIAL HOLIDAY RED AND GREEN M+Ms
“...UH, SANTA?” YELLOW TIMIDLY ASKS
AS A FEW CANDIES FALL TO THE GROUND
SKITTERING PAST THE TREE AND INTO THE HEARTH
AND THE FINAL STRAINS OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES
ECHO ALONGSIDE OUR LONE SURVIVOR
Track Name: Christmas Angel
HIDDEN UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE
THERE ARE PRESENTS FOR YOU, THEY'RE PRESENTS FROM ME
I BOUGHT YOU ONE OF EVERYTHING THAT MONEY CAN BUY
YOU'RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL AND THAT'S NO LIE

I BOUGHT YOU DRESSES AND I BOUGHT YOU BOOKS
I BOUGHT YOU AN IPOD AND A BIG BREAKFAST NOOK
I BOUGHT YOU A MOTORBOAT, AND PAINTED IT GREEN
YOU'RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL, YOU'RE THE CHRISTMAS QUEEN

GET A BIGGER STOCKING BABY YOURS IS TOO SMALL
PUPPIES PONIES KITTY CATS I BOUGHT YOU 'EM ALL
BOUGHT YOU A HOUSE IN PARIS AND A BEACH IN HAWAII
YOUR MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL AND I'M A LUCKY GUY

JOE RUMRILL LOVES CHRISTMAS
JOE RUMRILL LOVES SNOWFALL
GIVE JOE RUMRILL PRESENTS
YOU'RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL AND I AM JOE RUMRILL

CHRISTMAS DAY CAME AND I WASN'T GOOD
I COULDN'T GET YOU EVERYTHING THAT I SAID I WOULD
NO MONEY IN MY POCKETS WHEN I WENT TO THE MALL
BUT I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL

YOU'RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL, YOU'RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL
Track Name: Tree's 2 Big
WELL THE YULETIDE IS UPON US ONCE AGAIN DEAR
ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE MOST JOYFULLY
IT'S TIME TO GATHER NEAR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY
IT'S TIME TO CUT US DOWN A CHRISTMAS TREE

WE TOLD THEM TO GO OUT AND PICK A GOOD ONE
MAKE IT TALL AND FULL AND EMERALD GREEN
WELL THEY CAME BACK ELEVEN HOURS LATER
WITH THE MOST GIGANTIC TREE I'VE EVER SEEN

CHORUS
WELL THAT CHRISTMAS TREE'S JUST TOO BIG FOR THE LIVING ROOM
THAT DOUGLAS FIR JUST WON'T FIT THROUGH THE DOOR
JUST LEAVE IT ON THE PORCH AND COME INSIDE NOW
WELL PUT THE LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ON THE FLOOR

SO NOW OUR WHOLE HOUSE IS A SEA OF BRANCHES
THEY GOT IT IN BY BUSTIN THROUGH THE WALL
SANTA WONT HAVE TROUBLE FINDIN OUR HOUSE
IT'S THE ONE WITH THE TREE THAT'S 49 FEET TALL

CHORUS

BRIDGE
THERES NEEDLES DEEP INSIDE MY BEDROOM CARPET
THERES PINECONES IN THE FRIDGE AND FREEZER TOO
I'M SHOWERING WITH TREESAP EVERY MORNING
BUT EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS SPIRITS THROUGH THE ROOF!


I SLEEP INSIDE A NEST OF SNOWY HOOT OWLS
LISTENIN FOR BELLS AND REINDEER SOUNDS
I BEEN GOOD, I HOPE I GET WHAT I WANTED
A LADDER THAT CAN GET ME TO THE GROUND

CHORUS X2
Track Name: Silent Night
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise


He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash


From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes


They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash


The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son


The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"


They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash


Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"


It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash


Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/monstermashlyrics.html
Track Name: How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
THEY WOKE UP CHRISTMAS MORNIN
DECORATIONS WEREN'T ADORNIN
THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT IN WHOVILLE CITY
SEE THE GRINCH LIVED UP ABOVE AND
HE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH AND
GOT A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA DIDN'T HE?

WELL ALL THE NOISE NOISE NOISE
FROM THEIR MUSIC AND THEIR TOYS
PANTOOKAS AND BAMBOOZLERS FOR PLAYIN
HE MADE AN ANTLER FROM A LOG
AND STRAPPED IT TO POOR MAX THE DOG
MADE A SANTA SUIT AND STARTED SLEIGHIN'

(WELL THIS IS) HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (CHRISTMAS DAY)
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (DAHOO DORAY)
(WELL IT'S) HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (SHOES TOO TIGHT)
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (HEAD NOT SCREWED ON RIGHT)

HE SLUNK AROUND THE TOWN
TEARING ALL OF CHRISTMAS DOWN
HE TOOK THE TOYS THE FOOD AND THE TREES
HE LEFT THE HOUSES BARE
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE
TO LEAVE A CRUMB OR TWO FOR THE MOUSIES

WELL EVEN CINDY LOU
DIDNT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO
HE TRICKED HER AND JUST LEFT UP THE CHIMBLY
HE'S A MEAN ONE THAT'S FOR SURE
SO NEXT CHRISTMAS SEE THAT YOU'RE
ABLE TO DEFEND YOUR HOUSE NIMBLY

CHORUS

UP THE MOUNTAIN WITH THE GIFTS
WAS GONNA TOSS 'EM OFF A CLIFF
HE PAUSED TO HEAR THE CRIES OF DESPAIR
BUT THEN MUCH TO HIS DISGUST
HIS WHOLE PLAN WAS JUST A BUST
THE GENTLE CHRISTMAS SONG FILLED THE AIR

WELL NOW WHAT A NICE SURPRISE
THE GRINCH'S HEART GREW THRICE IT'S SIZE
HE JOINED THE CELEBRATION OF PEACE
HE GAVE THEM BACK THEIR STUFF AND
JOINED THE BROTHERHOOD AND LOVE AND
HE HIMSELF HE EVEN CARVED THE ROAST BEAST